Falstaff at the Bagel Shop

My beard had become biblical; so I took my hoary self, to my regular barbershop in Harvard Square, After having my mane tamed, I went to my favorite subterranean bagel shop, The Black Sheep Bagel cafe-- to enjoy my whole wheat bagel, with hummus, tomatoes, and tuna fish, Just then a Falstaffian man of. substantial girth, disheveled beard ( good I got my trim), and deep, bombastic voice yelled " The comma has ruined the English Language" He posed this to a gaggle of Harvard students, and the students politely smiled, and humored the man. Now, I was wondering if the guy meant the comma splice, or the notorious oxford comma which has been a subject of debate by rarified literary crowds. (In fact, I probably have had any number of splices is this little essay.) One could say the splice is my spice of life. In any case, the man went to the counter and continued his tirade. The counterman, a Russian gentleman asked him to leave, and he said "My aggrieved Russian friend has asked me leave, tell me have I broken the law?," he snorted. Of course I kept my head down because I sensed that he knew I was a comma culprit........Happy New Year!