The Red Letters
In ancient Rome, feast days were indicated on the calendar by red letters.
To my mind, all poetry and art serves as a reminder that every day we wake together beneath the sun is a red-letter day.
––Steven Ratiner
Red Letter Poem #287
In the Kitchen
I know what you’re looking for, standing there,
holding the orange juice carton in your hand.
I see ^ watch you open the cabinet with our
coffee mugs, then turn, pondering, in the center
of the kitchen. I’ve struck out see and inserted
watch—I’m on watch here, a watchwoman
pacing the figurative ramparts, watching
and wanting to insert a little caret of ease
into the sinkhole of your hesitation.
The glasses are over there, in the cabinet
to the right of the sink, I say, shrinking my voice
to the size of a seed so my tone will seem
anecdotal, incidental, nondirective, inflected
with an orchard of kindness. This time,
my words go down smoothly, you thank me,
walk to the right cabinet, take out a glass.
You pour your juice, and I stand there,
watching you do what you still can.
----Wendy Drexler
Modulation. The way––through boundless revisions––a poet calibrates a poem’s diction, tone of voice, rhythmic force, word choice and, its corollary, the potency of what remains unsaid. Typically, readers are drawn to the unique styles with which poets speak onto the page; but after several readings, we may realize how powerfully we are moved by what was left unarticulated. Our minds, then, are drawn into that void to fully substantiate the unscrolling vision, becoming a necessary element in the completion of the poem. And in this process, we make the poem ours, a vehicle for our own intimate discoveries. The subject matter of Wendy Drexler’s new poem is heart-shaking––there’s little doubt in that. But its most dramatic effects come from the ways she’s used these subtle inflections to coax us to a place many of us have not yet had to confront. Quietly, our illusion of control is being laid bare. The unassailable experience of reality suddenly trembles. Dementia involves the gradual loss of someone we love, well before the body itself is failing, facing departure. From the first line of this poem––“I know what you’re looking for,”––we are standing in a place where certainty and doubt are in contention. Wendy’s husband, Herb, was a brilliant individual with advanced degrees from both MIT and Harvard. He spent his work-life as an adoption lawyer and helped found what’s now called the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys. The insidiousness of Alzheimer’s lies in its slow erosion of an intricate mind created over many decades. In this poem, we sense how her husband’s illness is gradually remaking the poet’s experience as well, from a loving wife into Herb’s vigilant caretaker. How painful, seeing him standing in his own kitchen with the carton of juice in one hand and the empty one searching––not simply for a glass, or the word that maps its meaning––but for the simple calm that once signified home.
We are a little startled to read: “I see ^ watch you open the cabinet”––and suddenly we have slipped from the actual kitchen to the literary territory where we use inky syllables to comprehend our complex situation. “I’ve struck out see and inserted/ watch—I’m on watch here, a watchwoman// pacing the figurative ramparts…”. And now we find our sympathies shifting, enlarging: from the husband’s confusion to that of the poet/narrator who––in a mood that combines necessity and desperation––has already begun carrying the moment over into verse, into a realm where she still has some measure of control (ah, those modest little couplets!) And how she wishes she could do more ––“to insert a little caret of ease/ into the sinkhole of your hesitation”–– but there is only so much that is possible. She can, of course, answer her husband’s unspoken question (‘what is it I’m looking for?’)––but more importantly, she can modulate her manner, the style of her speaking (“shrinking my voice/ to the size of a seed”) to try to keep this proud man from feeling still further diminished by what has taken possession of his life. And we can feel how that vast unsaid impacts the scene, deepens our understanding––“This time,// my words go down smoothly…”. This time. And we are forced to imagine what those other times might be like, torn by rage and fear, both husband and wife clinging to the debris of a remembered life that’s been stoved in by the storm.
Wendy, a poet and educator, is about to publish her fourth collection, Harvest of What Remains (Lily Poetry Review Books) which explores the situation of Alzheimer’s and its effect on the whole circle of relationship. In 2022, she was honored with an artist’s fellowship from the Massachusetts Cultural Council. Her poems have appeared in dozens of fine print journals including The Threepenny Review, Salamander, and Prairie Schooner––and over the airwaves on sites like Verse Daily and WBUR radio’s ‘Cognoscenti.’ I return to her work often, valuing the mixture of creative rigor and emotional intelligence, a hallmark of the best of poetry. In this new book, we share her experience of fighting a calamitous battle where we know, from the outset, that the stakes are dire and the outcome fated. Still, this is precisely what Frost intended when he spoke of poetry as “a momentary stay against confusion.” For a little while, we can set our minds to the task of ordering, clarifying, unveiling our inner circumstance––raising a verbal roof beneath which we can seek shelter. It is a fortifying, even enlightening practice. And then we can return to our marvelous, heartbreaking, unruly outer lives, trying hard to savor what’s been given, what’s being lost.
The Red Letters
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