Julia Kanno writes:
I am the mother of two amazing young men ages 27 and 17. I am from Appalachia and Botswana. I am an artist and also work in healthcare, I have self published with my co-pilot levin pfeuffer two books of prose"a storm is cuming" and "The hardest helmut." My first reading was done at Northeastern University and since then I have read at the Somerville Armory two times. I consider myself an introverted artist/writer. I give birth to my works including those that have been displayed at the Decordova Museum as well as Howard University and local gems such ast he Middle East and Out of the Blue gallery. I will be published in Tell magazine featuring my textiles and art in the spring. Currently, I am studying behavioral science and psychology because there is a need for more people of color to be there for people of color to help end the stigma of seeking mental health.
THE
EMPTY COVID OCTOPUS
J.Kanno
11/20
Tubes
dance from ventilators
like
Infected
dancing
Octopus
tails.
They,
the infected warriors,
stare
out the window
With
help from I
To
look below from window
see
the soaked
drenched,
devastated
and
confused faces
Of
loved ones below.
Independence
is robbed
Wheeled
to the toilet by I
and
robbed of privacy by I
Using
instructed body mechanics
To
rotate and give comfort and not
to
degrade a human
and
i am soooo sorry
as
I humbly
Wipe
the
Yellow
Brown
Or
even red black
mud
excrement
From
the crease of your
butt.
Emptying
your foley
Catheter
Is
an honor
The
smell bothers me no more
Because
I am thrilled that your body
And
your kidneys
Are
connecting.
Freedom
from the vent during the day is like finding inner truth
Santa
Clause
Or
even the north star
Or
getting a great deal on
Iwannalive.com
Yet..
Careful
You
are still not you nor will you be
You
are in a place
That
I would sell my soul to not to be in.
This
place is where
you
are still isolated in a room with a glass window
And
a speaker video system
Then
Hooked
to the machine at night
That
keeps you alive
While
the trachea and breathing tubes
Rob
your speech
And
sleep
And
all you have are memories of
The
before
Cooking
dinner for the kids
Teaching
a classroom of students with wide eyes
Building
houses
Being
behind a mahogany bar as a bartender hearing sweet and ugly
drunken
truths.
You
forget the feel of real clothes
Fresh
cotton, wool, silk and even fucking polyester
The
air smacking your open ass in your new uniform
your
johnny
So
weary and weak
You
don't bother to cover yourself anymore.
Because
of this you must eat baby food again
have
to learn to chew again and
Swallow
Without
dying
while
you crave the beef stew that
your
beloved made with a side of rye bread.
We
people like I become your new family because you cannot see
that
grandchild
with
the red curls
And
pink lips
And
upturned nose
Or
that beautiful ebony little girl
That
your daughter tried so hard to have
And
she looks
Just
like you
And
your wife
That
died 79 days ago from this beast.
Without
u
That
would not exist
Without
your sperm
legacy
and you.
The
halls as you learn to walk again no longer smell like death
Or
shit
Or
putrid urine
Because
you have been there so long
These
halls now
smell
like home.
After
seven months
And
after put into a medically induced coma
And
turned upside down
In
a diaper
And
rotated like a rotisserie human the whole time
A
human will
Reverted
back to infancy
In
rehab
You
have come so far
You
sit up on you own but weak and learn
About
how life went on..
Your
son got discharged from the military
Your
youngest daughter got eloped to that guy you never liked
Your
first granddaughter died from leukemia
Your
wife had a biopsy and started preparing divorce papers because
the
idea of being a caregiver
was
all too much
The
house you built went up for sale because of the medical bills
And
your eldest son killed himself
In
his garage
With
a tube in his mouth
Looking
at pictures of you.
cause
he thought you wouldn't live
and
he
Loved
you
That
much.
Later..
After
rehab because of I
And
doctors and staff and the team
And
because you fought to make it
For
them
And
you know nothing
Because
you were not to be upset
And
keep in mind we never knew the progression of these
deviations
because
we were focused on you.
You
are wheeled out
On
a Wednesday
At
3:45
Staff
like I with balloons and music
Clapping
We
dressed you as you wished
Dress
shoes and real underwear and no diapers
And
a dress shirt
Teal
green
and
even a tie
Red
with flowers
And
pleated pants
And
brown shoes
You
tied your own laces
And
you wanted me to untie them again to show your family
That
you can do it
How
you could do it.
As
we open the sliding doors
The
blast of organic earth and fresh air hit your face
we
have ten balloons
And
you look amazing and so happy
And
we wait
And
wait
And
there is not
One
person.
But
a housekeeping person
That
says
"You
made it man"
You
clench your jaw
I
clench my rage
And
send you into the abyss.
To listen to the poem go to: https://archive.org/details/aud-20201118-wa-0000-1
wow
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