Spoke 5
ISBN 978-1-387-9803-8
Boston, MA 2018
Review by Zvi A.
Sesling
One of the more
fascinating entries in the latest issue of Spoke
5 are the translations of Cuban poet Jorge Olivero Castillo, whose poems are
rendered accessible and enjoyable. There
are three translations of one poem, one entitled “Plea”, one titled
“Supplication” and a third one called “Supplicant.” Each translation was done by different writers.
The first, “Pleas,”
is translated by P. Scott Cunningham and Oscar Rieveling:
Outside
the rain washing
autumn’s dead
leaves
piled on the
pavement.
to pass in silence down Linnaean Street.
hanging in the half-naked trees.
Night’s fists on
the glass door
more and more
visible.
And me in my
apartment
intractable, on
my back, determined
to find the word
the poem is
asking for
on its knees
It is also
translated by Cecilia Weddell in the follows:
Supplication
Outside:
The rain washing
autumn’s dried
leaves
piled on the
pavement.
A car that
attempts
a silent drive
down Linnaean Street.
spreading through the half-naked trees.
The night’s
closed hands on the glass door
more visible
every time.
And me in the
apartment, unyielding,
flat on my back,
determined to
discover the word
begged after by
this kneeling
poem.
Daniel Evans
Pritchard’s version is again slightly different from the other two:
Outside
piled on the
sidewalk
autumn’s withered
leaves
are washed by the
rain.
A car strains for
silence
on its way down Linnaean
Street.
The fain
murmuring breeze
scatters among
half-naked branches.
The collar of
night more and more
contracts around
the glass.
And I in my apartment
dogged on my
knees
begging am
determined to extract
from myself the mot juste
Some of the
differences are subtle. The first describes autumn’s leaves as “dead” and the
second offers that they are “dried” and the third “withered”. All three versions agree rain washes away the
leaves.
Also note in the
first translation “A car trying to pass in silence down Linnaean Street.”
becomes in the second work, “A car that attempts a silent drive down Linnaean
Street.”
While the third
states “A car strains for silence … “. These might be considered slight changes.
The Spanish
original is “Un automovil que intenta/pasar en silencio por Linnaean Street.”
So the
translation which comes closest is Ms. Weddell’s which uses “attempts” and “silence” both literal takes on “intenta”
and “silencio”.
Then we see another
difference in the three translations where the first version reads, “The soft
babble of air/hanging in the half-naked trees.” The second translator “The
light murmur of air/spreading through the half-naked trees.” Finally, ‘The
faint murmuring breeze/scatters among half-naked branches.”
Here again the
difference is subtle but gives a different meaning to whether the air was
barely moving or was a breeze.
These examples are
what makes translations so difficult. Often the reader sees the translator’s
poetry, not the original, usually with different meanings. In the above two versions there are
differences, yet the poem remains more or less intact, rather than two
considerably different poems.
Once I did a
review of Christian Wiman’s translation of an Osip Mandelstam poem and compared
it with a translation of the same poem by W.S. Merwin. For a person who does
not read Russian, placed side-by-side they were two completely different poems,
albeit they were poems by the translators, and the original was lost forever.
Nonetheless, discovering
Jorge Olivero Castillo’s poetry is a genuine pleasure and credit should go to
his translators. In fact, Spoke 5 presents
fine poetry by Audrey Mardavich, Maggie Dietz, Danielle Legros Georges, Patrick
Sylvain, Guy Rotella and others. There are a number of other poets worth
reading, as well as George Kalogeris’ commentary on Ben Mazer’s poetry which
highlights the poet’s often overlooked talent.
Danielle Legros
Georges was Boston’s second Poet Laureate following the legendary Sam Cornish. In
her poem “Bayou” she writes, ‘ “In
response to Gwendolyn Knight Lawrence’s painting is:
blue-water-island
slow-moving-stream
red river
slow-moving
trees-as-dark
river-as-blue
dark hanging
dreams
moss-tanning
talking
trees
breeze silent
circled
bayou
ground-water
creole
heart-water
talking
trees
Spoke 5’s more than 300 pages is well worth reading the poetry and commentary on poetics
including some 45 pages of letters by Larry Eigner entitled “ Swampscott [MA]
to Mexico City: Larry Eigner and El Corno
Letters from Larry Eigner to El
Corno Emplumado (Edited by George Hart).
And finally kudos to Publisher & Editor Kevin Gallagher and Managing
Editor Karin van Berkum for putting together this fine publication.
_____________________________
Zvi A. Sesling
